Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Beekle!

Today I got to do something I don't often have the pleasure of doing: I read to a classroom of kids.  Elementary kids, to be exact.

Full disclosure: I love reading aloud.  
I read to my kids.  
I read to my students when I was in the English classroom. 
I occasionally read out loud to myself.  
When I was in 4th grade I volunteered to read aloud to the class. Yes, to my own class.  (I loved it.  The other students? I am not sure they were crazy about it. )

I really love the feel of the words, the expression it can bring, the effect it has, the sounds. 

I also love being read to.  I am a sucker for audiobooks. If I am going to spend money on a book, it is typically an audiobook (often because the library doesn't have the book on audio, but that is another day's discussion). 

So, when I became the librarian for the district, which includes a high school, a middle school, and two elementaries, I always hoped I could get back to reading aloud. 

When I graduated from college, I briefly (5 months) clerked at the public library in Bradley, Illinois, and I was able to talk the director into letting me run a children's story time.

But I have spent the last 19 years dealing almost exclusively with high school, which is a tough crowd for "let me read to you".  

So at the beginning of the school year, I suggested it to the elementary teachers, they were very gracious in accepting the idea, and we were on our way!

Beekle by Dan Santat
© Dan Santat
Today was the inaugural voyage, and I had a blast!

I read The Adventures of Beekle, the Unimaginary Friend. 

It is such a beautiful book. Poignant, powerful, honest.  And it is also funny.  Heck, the second graders could barely contain themselves when they realized you could see Beekle's butt. 
Beekle's Butt!
© Dan Santat

I read to five different classes from kindergarten to fourth grade and had a ton of fun. 

Everyone loved guessing what Beekle actually was and each class had different ideas. ("A pillow!"  "A snowman!" "A ghost!" "The king of ghosts!"  "Baby Baymax!")

 Each class noticed different things. ("The panda is made of crystal!" "That dragon looks like candy!" "That guy is the shape of a puzzle piece!")

They laughed and smiled.  They felt sad for Beekle when he was alone and confessed to, like some characters in the book, occasionally needing nap ("I could take a nap right now!")

The kids made predictions. 
They extrapolated. 
They noticed. 
They listened. 

Everyone wanted him to have a friend. Almost everyone readily acknowledged that they too had an imaginary friend (at one point or another). 

Books really do bring people together.  With an age range of five years (and a five years that makes a huge difference), this book crossed the divide and gave me the chance to interact with some great young people, sharing a good story and a few laughs. 

But more than that, if gave me a way to get in the classroom, meet the kids, and share a book with them. 

And that is a wonderful feeling. 

Friday, August 26, 2016

Mood Swings

I arrived  at school this morning with, unbeknownst to me, cheddar cheese on my forehead. 

It was not my proudest moment. 

This morning at my house had been chaotic, as Friday school mornings can be with 4 people and all the complications getting ready can bring. 

I had gotten everyone else ready, lunches packed, backpacks on, homework signed, gym shoes packed, lunch money distributed. All was finally well, and I picked up my breakfast Hot Pocket (ham and cheese) to leave.  Someone was walking in, I was walking out, we collided, the Hot Pocket ended up in the grass, someone was crying (not me), and the day began.  

I got to school and had a disorganized assortment of bags (computer bag, lunch bag, bag of books) to wrestle with. 

Then someone was parked in my parking spot. 

A teacher saw me in my frazzled state and quietly said, "You have something on your forehead." 

Yes, it was Hot Pocket cheese. Apparently it had exploded as it fell. 

Lovely. 

I wiped it off, went into the library, and tried to focus on turning this wildness around. 

At that point, a student said, "Can you think of another book like this one?" I thought about it, had a couple in mind, and went to find the book I was looking for.  

Then he said, "I haven't read a book in two years.  But I read this one in a week. It's pretty weird." 

And that took my breath away.

As I thought of it, I had never seen him in the library for anything other than to make up a test.  


He has been there last week for media center orientation and checked out a book. He said that he just opened it up to start reading it, then noticed he was 50 pages in. Before he knew it, he had read the whole thing. 

And he wanted another book. 

Just like that, my lousy exploding-Hot-Pocket-parking-space-taken-disorganized-trying-to-not-be-late morning was turned around. 

I firmly believe that there is a book for every reader.

Some people will read anything, including the cereal box. Others have a narrow vision of what they want to give their time to. Some people prefer reading with their eyes, others with their ears or fingers. Some people want a challenge, others want a relaxing break from complexity. Some want something new, others read the same book again and again.

But there is a book for every reader. 


This morning, one of my students discovered that; I got to be reminded of it.

All in all, it was a really great morning.  

Friday, August 12, 2016

Knowing When to Walk Away

Yesterday I made a really difficult decision: I decided to stop reading  a book. 

Now, that isn't all that rare.  I have a personal "3 chapters" policy.  If I am unsure about a book that I am reading for my own enjoyment, I give it 3 chapters. At that point, I give myself the freedom to set it aside and move on. I spent a lot of years slogging through stuff I didn't like and being weighed down by guilt, so this is a really freeing policy.  

There is a book for every reader, and every book has a reader, but that doesn't mean every book is for every reader.  

Some books or writers are just not my cup of tea.  I move on. No problemo. 

That isn't what happened yesterday. 

image courtesy of Amazon.com
I have been reading Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman, winner of the National Book Award for Young People's Literature.  The book is so incredibly powerful. Beautiful. Mysterious.  Terrifying at times, amusing at others. 
and let me say, it is an amazing book. I am not just saying that, it really is. 

In some ways, it reminded me of Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury in that for quite a bit I was unsure who people were and what was actually happening, then when I realized, it hit me right between the eyes. 

Challenger Deep is like that.  There are times I was confused, but I stuck with it, and when I finally realized what was actually happening it legitimately took by breath away.  I stopped reading for  a moment just to consider all that was happening and all that it meant.   

And then I became deeply uncomfortable.  

But that, in and of itself, is not a bad thing.  

At the risk of being mildly spoiler-ish, the book deals with mental illness. (I knew that, at least superficially, before starting).  

However, it is so real, so raw, so personal, that it was very unsettling.   Which, let's be honest, is really the point.  And it is what gives Challenger Deep its power.  That personal connection, the insight and depth into a world that may be very unrelatable.  

Or it could be very, very relatable.  

Yesterday, while reading, there was a passage in which I found my heart racing and my mind so disquieted that I had to set the book aside.  

Not just for a minute or five, but for a while.  

I am not sure when I will go back to the book. If ever.

And that is a difficult decision for me to make, not one I take lightly. 

But here is the thing, I think that in our lives, each of us (doctor or otherwise) is called to do no harm, and that includes to ourselves. We need to know ourselves and know our limits. And, in a lot of ways, that means respecting those limits and knowing when to take a break or walk away entirely. 

I have read all of the  Game of Thrones books
image courtesy of Amazon.com
, but I have seen none of the shows.  This is a 100% conscious decision (we own all of them on blu-ray) because I know that I personally can't watch movies/performances/shows where there is violence against women. Especially sexual violence.  Especially gratuitous.  And much has been written about Game of Thrones/HBO and their chronic disrespect for women, objectification of women, and willingness to use violence against women as a ratings tool. I will not stand for it, so I don't watch it.


I made that decision out of respect for myself, my sensibilities, and knowing what I can and can't tolerate.  

And those limits are different for everyone. 

Everyone has their limits and issues, whether they know them or not, and hopefully if those are reached we all realize the beauty in "do no harm" and respect our limits enough to actually obey them. 

With Challenger Deep, I ran abruptly into one and struggled with how to deal with it.  

I personally know many people who have been affected by mental illness.  Some have risen above it, others not.  All have struggled, some more deeply than others.  

To watch the people you know and love struggle is difficult, I knew that. 

To experience a walk through that mental illness in such a  profound and personal way as in Challenger Deep was so very unsettling that I had to recognize a limit, respect it, and back away from it. 

Let me say this: I know 100% that this is an issue of privilege.  I have the privilege of being able to take a step away from mental illness, catch my breath, and decide when, if ever, I step back in. I completely understand that those in the depths of the battle do not have this privilege which I experience. 

And, in some ways, it is the reason I am fairly sure I will eventually finish Challenger Deep.  I need to know what happens. I need to continue the journey. I need to feel the disquiet and know that there is still life and perhaps hope and possibly healing. 

But today is not the day for that.  Perhaps it is because I am tired or stressed out. Maybe it is the constant onslaught of negativity from the news and election cycle that has my entire self on edge. I don't know. I just know that I need to take a break from the book, and I need to be kind enough to myself to recognize that and obey it. 

When tackling difficult issues and texts, I think it can be important to know your limits and know when to walk away, even if you will eventually venture back. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Reading for Fun and Profit

I have just gotten back from a wonderfully busy summer.  I spent a good deal of time teaching summer school, a nice time traveling to see friends and hosting visiting family, and getting to enjoy the always elusive time to read for fun.

Reading for fun is a tricky
business for me. There is the always expanding "To Be Read" (TBR) pile that would take several lifetimes to accomplish.  There are the books I feel like I need to read because they are award winners (The Goldfinch, I am looking at you), books I slog through because I started them and keep thinking they must get better at some point (1Q84, that was 30 hours of my life I gave
you!) and books I really do need to read to make me better at readers advisory or simply knowledge of the world.  


I spent a lot of the summer on that third group.  I tried to work my way through the Abe Lincoln Award nominees for 2017 and got through quite a lot of them.   


  • 100 Sideways Miles (Great book. An interesting perspective and vision)
  • Bone Gap (Amazing! Powerfully imaginative and captivating.)
  • Caged Warrior (A book I never would have just picked up but told a great story)
  • A Court of Thorns and Roses (Elves! Romance! Battles! Mystery!  It has it all!)
  • Fake ID (The best surprise of the summer. A
    book I never would have chosen, but am so glad I did.  A wonderful story, thought provoking, and intriguing characters.)
  • I am Malala (It's Malala. How can you go wrong? What a life! What a
     woman!)
  • Red Queen (A neat twist on the dystopian trend. A mixture of Hunger Games and Allegiant, while still being unique. )
  • Grave Mercy (currently reading)

But it was my summer, and my free time, so I took a few detours through things I simply wanted to read: Red Rising, Shadow and Bone, H is for Hawk, and Half of a Yellow Sun (Holy cow, what an amazing book).

The summer school students I teach are almost exclusively international students from South Korea.  They are long term students who come in 8th
grade and stay until the end of college.  Studying in the US is less a cultural exchange and more an immersion into English and a pursuit of fluency and an American education.  This inevitably brings up the question of how to improve their English, and I give them the same answer I always do. 

You need to read. In English. For fun. 

You don't have to read Hemingway. Work your way through the Walking Dead.  It can be a
cheesy romance or a the-world-is-ending-we-need-a-teenager-to-save-us dystopian. I don't care.  It just needs to be what you enjoy

And they balk at that.  

So they slog through War and Peace when what would really be best for them is The Hunger Games

If you have a class that assigns War and Peace, fine. If not, if it is out of your interest and beyond your skill, skip it!  Should you skip it just because it is beyond your skill? Absolutely not! But if you don't care about it, it will suck your energy and love of reading dry.   

I find it easy to preach this message, but hard to live it at times.  

When I pick up the book I should read instead of the one I want, I hear echoes of myself.  "Why in the world are you crawling through Soul Mountain when you want to be eating up the
Court of Myst and Fury?"

So often we make reading into a business venture. What gets the fastest results?  What is my ROI for this book?  The way schools and testing are done today only adds to that.  Read to find the characters, theme, and symbolism.  Sure, there is a time and a place for this, and it is a valuable skill, but sometimes just the right book is a quick romance or a mindless Western. Something to cleanse the palate and the literary soul.   

In light of this, I am redoubling my efforts to avoid book shaming this year--not toward others, because I almost never do that--but toward myself. I should read  Prisoner of Night and Fog, and yes, I will eventually.  But right now, I am going to read what I want, what feels good, what meets my literary needs. 

So I am listening to Cinder.  


And enjoying the heck out of it. 
Guilt free.  

Because there is more to reading than the bottom line, not just for students but adults too.